Day 12: My biggest takeaway from Laura Trice’s Ted talk “Remember to say thank-you.”

Today’s blog post is about Laura Trice’s Ted talk, who delivered a simply but extremely important message – say thank-you.  In a mere 3 minutes Laura tells us why we need to say thank-you.

Day 12 thank-you

Show appreciation and ask to be appreciated

Do you appreciate those around you? Your family, friends and co-workers? Have you ever told them this or do you assume they know? The core message of Laura Trice’s talk is that often the people around us want to be thanked and appreciated for what they bring to our lives yet they will never directly tell you this. To illustrate her point Laura shares a story about a man who has been married for 25 years and is the sole income provider. He longs to hear his wife say “Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids,”  but because he has never expressed his need to hear this his wife would have no idea that he needs this validation and may never ever express gratitude verbally.

I am going to be honest here. When I saw the title of this Ted talk I thought that it would be interesting but I didn’t think that it would cover any new ground but Laura did give me new insight into why it can be so hard to ask to be appreciated and that is if we ask to be thanked  and appreciated we are showing other people where our insecure points are and with that ‘critical data’  this makes us vulnerable because as Laura says “what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need”  Looking back at the husband in the previous story it’s heartbreaking that this man would rather carry the burden of silent resentment of not hearing his wife verbally express appreciation than opening himself up to vulnerability and sharing his need for appreciation.

Today’s action step

Today’s action step is a simple one and that is to  say thank-you.  I like to think I have good manners, I say thank-you countless times a day; when I call customer service hotlines, when I pay for my groceries and many other times throughout the day when politeness is expected, although not always warranted,  but do I really ever go out of my way to thank someone and show appreciation out of the blue for no reason at all? The answer is not often, definitely not as much as I should. I am going to make a conscious effort to show more appreciation towards people for what they do and I am going to start today with you.

Dear reader

Thank-you for visiting Website Confetti, my home on the web . Whether this is your first visit or one of many visits I truly do thank-you and appreciate you for taking a few moments out of your day to read what I have to say. It means more than you know. Thanks again and please let me know if I can make this site better for you. 

 Thanks Vanessa XX