Continuing on with my accidental theme month of covering motivational Ted talks, today blog post is about lessons I learned from watching Mel Robbins ‘Tedx talk F— YOU – How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over.’
Mel Robbins offers a straight-talking tough love presentation that at times makes you feel guilty for not reaching your full potential. The meat of her talk is that if you are not living your life the way you want to be living your life, the blame should be put squarely on your own shoulders. If you are feeling stuck then there is really no excuse for not taking action and pushing through those feelings. Mel says that if you need guidance find out someone who is where you want to be right now and follow their steps. We live in such an amazing digital age that gives us access to free tools, blueprints, documentation and knowledge, so if we doing a little research d we can easily find the resources that we need to navigate to where we want to be.
Another interesting topic that was touched upon was autopilot living verses activation energy. The basic premise of this concept was that for many of us, we live on autopilot by default and fail to use the activation energy required to try something new. We simply hit snooze on our ideas and impulses. Mel lists examples such as being in a bar and wanting to dance, wanting to act on that first impulse, but then autopilot kicks in and we sit back down. The 5 second rule, is that small window that we are given that if we don’t act upon, we are likely to sulk away.
The last core message that really made sense to me was the interpretation that feeling stuck does not mean that we are broken, it simply means that our mind is craving exploration and is bored with being in a routine – stuck in a rut. It goes back to the core human needs, Maslow’s hierachy of needs that we all have human needs that need to be met otherwise we don’t really function at our full potential.
Lessons I learned from watching Mel Robbins: F— YOU – How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over
The biggest take-away for me is that I let my autopilot dictate a great potion of my life. It is so easy to fall into this of trap of over-thinking mode and not react on instinct. The other big (I hate to use this phrase) aha moment for me was something Mel said about how for many us wanting to make a change we need to remember that we are never going to feel like it so she set a challenge to everyone to wake up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow and start whatever change we are wanting to make. How true is this! How many times have we wanted to start something but perhaps the scale of the project or the hard work involved has pushed us into full procrastination mode. There will never be the perfect moment to start something so we might as well pick this moment.
Today’s action step and free worksheet
For today’s action step I created a worksheet divided into 4 rows with 4 simple questions:
1. What is that I want to start?
List what change you want to make or what project you want to start. Be as specific and measurable as you can.
2. What will happen if I don’t start?
List all the consequences of not starting or making a change. The trick is to attach as much ‘negativity’ to not starting something so you have no choice but to get started.
3. What great things will happen when I do start?
List all the benefits that you will get when you start your new project or make the change you want to make. You want this list to show you all the rewards that you have to gain when you take the plunge and get started.
4. What’s the next step(s)?
List a tangible action that you can take to push things forward.
If you would like to follow along and download the worksheet I plan to use you can do below.
If you haven’t watched this Ted talk yet please do so. Mel’s voice will be stuck in your head for the rest of day urging you to take action today.